Hypothetical – a 21st century genie sits down next you on a park bench. He looks pretty normal and explains that the whole genie thing has evolved along with modern society.
The dapper young lad named Gene (really?) goes on to say;
“The new rules are that you still get three wishes but “me” the genie decides what they are? It’ll be fun.
Wish number one is from this point forward you will have the ability to fly.
It gets better.
Animals that fly like birds can see the ultraviolet spectrum of light, but that’s boring for mammals.
Wish number two is x-ray vision. Now you can see what people look like naked under their clothing”.
You’re thinking “this is great I can’t wait to leap a tall building in a single will bound AND see people naked under their clothing”
With a huge grin the genie goes on;
“Wish number 3 three is always the best wish. You can never leave your home again AND will spend at least 12 hours per day in a jail closet with erratic light cycles.
Oh yeh, food – the food is the funniest part”.
Gene was getting down right giddy.
“You get to eat colored morsels that resemble the gooey clay you squeezed out of a Play-Doh set as a child – forever”.
Magically now sitting next to Gene on the worn out sofa in the living room of your miserable little bungalow, on a cul-de-sac (meaning the only women you will ever see naked are ones you don’t ever want to see naked).
“Did I mention I was a comic genie?
Have a nice life and try to stay stay normal for the next 50 years. A professional is on stand by should you require injections of nefarious fluids that will fix anything that ails you.
Nice place you got”.
Alone (you can fill in the blank on how Gene made his exit), reality rapidly sunk in.
You found yourself floating, bumping your head on the bungalow’s 8 foot ceiling with purple sunlight streaming through the big front room window, making your headache – worse.
All you can think of is “this is gonna be rough”.
Moral? Learn to speak bird.
A couple of weeks ago I wrote about a drug called Lupron used by avian veterinarians to reduce prolific egg laying in birds as well as reducing aggression in male birds.
A couple of women on Facebook were astounded as in “how dare I” talk about a drug (Lupron) that caused young woman’s tooth enamel delamination, bone degeneration, fibromyalgia and chronic back pain to name a few symptoms (by the way did I mention that the manufacturer of the drug lost a law suit and had to award $852 million to a plaintiff?) 5 – 10 years after taking the drug.
Anyway they felt that my unscientific research would in no way hamper them in seeking to inject THEIR birds with Lupron while they are clearly able to pronounce it 100% safe in all avian applications – it’s a muricle lord.