Never poke the bird with the stick.
Like anything else let him get used to the stick by making it close when he’s out of the cage.
Seeing it from your bird’s point of view, he was very unhappy all those years he languished in your room alone and it will take time to regain his trust.
You say that he attacks “us” but it’s important to see if the bird is making a distinction and perhaps attacking your husband more than you?
As this would be behavior where he’s protecting you as his chosen mate.
At this point because of the dive-bombing you may want to consider clipping his wings to “reset” his behavior.
I would also advocate 5 minutes of clicker training daily.
Please remember that in the parrots natural state there is a lot of competition for nesting sites.
This makes parrots protective territoriality and he may be protecting his cage and his mate – you.
Most aggression is based on fear.
Parrots are keenly aware of the slightest change or detail the changes in their environment.
If your bird was not well socialized while he was young which we know he was not, because he spent a lot of alone time in your room.
He’s not had the nurturing parrots need from their keepers.
It’s also important to note that biting becomes a pattern of you being afraid of the bird.
He picks up your energy and he will carry that energy towards you which becomes a vicious cycle.
So it’s important that you approach your bird with calm and confidence all the time.
When he’s in the cage, drop (you and hubby) a high value treat in the bird food feeder dish when you pass.
We want to let the bird know know something good will happen every time someone comes near the cage
There’s other issues that you don’t get into in spite of your lengthly problem description. You talk about the one toy/perch that freaks him out of the cage. I would get it toy out of the cage if you want your bird to be comfortable in their cage. Also you want your bird to have lots of toys they feel comfortable comfortable around. The toys not only serve as foraging opportunities but places to hide behind and feel comfortable.
Think about if somebody placed a 6 foot x 2 foot pole middle of your bedroom – the first thing you would do is get rid of it.
At this point I’m going to ask you to commit to 10 minutes per day of one on one training with your Quaker
Please keep us up apprised of your progress
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